I am weary.

It has been one month since my last post.
I have been struggling.
Struggling with my feelings.
Things have been changing in my life and I'm not quite sure how to handle them.
The only constant is that I am here, it is now.
Everyday, I wake up and all I know is that I am.
I do not feel good all the time. I do not feel bad all the time, but I always am.

The fear of every new day is my new challenge.
I wake up and tell myself "Elise, DO NOT fear the unknown!"

My life is now only about me, and how I see the world and the people in it.

My new goals are to find love in everyone and everything, to feel compassion.
Although I am living my darkest days, I have never been so positive in my whole existence.

Life is a struggle. Life is a lesson. And I am ready to try my hardest and to learn all about ME and about life.

MY NEW CHAIR.

I have wanted this chair for a very long time. I found it at La Casa Verde in San Clemente. It's in mint condition and I'm so in love with it.
Call me Morticia!!!!

Frustration.

Thursdays are SOFTBALL days. But obviously not all the TEAM players get the idea of organized sports and being on a TEAM. So we had to forfeit. There are a bunch of BABIES on the team and it is frustrating. It's ADULT COED SOFTBALL through the city. It's not a major league team, it's just suppose to be fun and a way to be out and active with your friends. I don't understand how the people on my team don't get that.
Who cares if we suck? Who cares if we lose? It's about FUN.

That's all!

Appropriate?

Fading away.

Today.

Today, I am not happy. Today, I want to sleep, but have no bed to sleep in.
My car is my home on wheels today and I am not ready.

WHY?

GOSH, do I love Beyonce or what!!!

Where is my Mind.

Fridays are usually a good day. Thursdays are my favorite, but Fridays are a close second.
Today, however, I lost my mind!
Work was good, but exhaustion took over, and that was the end of my sanity!
Anger-Laughter-Boredom-Lack of Concentration- Blank [the pattern of my moods].



I found this picture from a long time ago, but I thought it was suiting for my mood!