Personali-WHO?

My good friend JR is an awesome photographer, and he is doing this really cool photo project right now. He is taking pictures of all his friends, but kinda as if they were their personality. At least that's how I interpret the collection. The collection isn't done, but so far it's awesome.

So, I found out about all of this coolness while I was on my trip. My friend Simone, in Santa Cruz, was on Facebook and saw all the pictures. I was kinda bummed, though, because I didn't think I would get to partake, since I was out of town, but sure enough, JR wanted to take my picture, too!

Now, the problem was how to depict my personality. What is my personality, anyways?
Do I do the maternal idea of Susie-home-maker, or do I do the tom-boy/armpit hair idea?



Well JR decided: "hey, why not both!"
So we came up with the idea that half of me would be feminine and the other half masculine.
Our friend Heike did my make up, and I had two outfits to wear: a dress and an apron for the mommish picture, and a greased up wife-beater for the tom-boy picture. And on top of the two outfits, I made an apple pie to hold in one picture and I brought a wrench for the other. After JR took the girly picture and the tom-boy picture, he cut the two in half and pasted them together using cool technology that I don't understand.



The picture turned out really cool. It's kind of really creepy but it is exactly how I imagined it would be.


Photo credit: JR Racine, duh!

Long awaited peace.

MY JOURNEY IS NEVER ENDING

THE PEACE I'VE FOUND WITHIN IS EVER LASTING

I began my trip on the road=in my car!!! That is why I am calling it a ROAD TRIP, but really it is a journey of discovery. What I will discover? Who knows!

I love her, my car that is. I am so thankful that she had no problems during this adventure (besides a small leak when the rain hit hard at EARTH DANCE).

Headed North up the California 101 to BEAUTIFUL Santa Barbara... Well through Santa Barbara to Isla Vista! There I met up with Cheyne Linn and Sean Turner, two good friends from high school. It was a very fun/mellow stereotypical dudes-in-college night! We watched football, smoked weed, drank beers, and ate chips! The weather was amazing! I mean SUNNY and WARM and I just wanted to be on a patch of grass so I could take it in all day long, but my stay had to be short. I say 'had to' because I wanted to leave and head on my way.



Back on the 101, I drove up to San Louis Obispo. I love that town. Before, I had only driven through, but this time I stopped. I called a good friend, Greg Ross, to meet me for lunch. He was the perfect person to meet up with! He is so spiritually grounded and has the most amazing energy that radiates from deep within his soul outward! We had a great lunch at the Natural Cafe, but I couldn't stay too long because my HEART was calling me to Santa Cruz, so back to the road!


Morro Bay-Awake

Morro Bay-Dreaming

Now headed North on PCH a.k.a. highway 1, I am very anxious. "Shit, I am going to be driving BIG SUR all by myself! Will this be it? I am never going to make it!" The most amazing stretch where majestic cliffs covered in lush greenery meets the raw and very cold Pacific ocean. Straight up AMAZING. I felt very insignificant compared to my surrounding landscape: MOTHER EARTH. She really is incredible.
The drive was long but I had a lot of time to think. Think about nothing and everything and all in between.





I finally made it to SANTA CRUZ.

"Why did I ever leave this place?"

I got to one of my BEST friends, Simone Vincenty's house: RanchOK, that's the name of the house. It has a wood sign above the front door that reads: "RanchOK: Relax, You have plenty of time" Ahhh, I know, or at least I am learning to know that I have all the time I want to have.
She has five amazing roommates. I felt so at home with all of them!
We all just ate great home made food, and drank wine, and went in the jaccuzzi, and laughed, and we were merry.

Side note: Simone and I share the most amazing, unique bond. She and I are two of a kind. She gets me and I get her, and me coming to stay with her and feeling so at home and in my place with her up in Santa Cruz was all meant to happen. Fate has a way of showing you the things you could not see even though they are staring you in the face. I miss Santa Cruz so much and being back here was an awakening: I need to be back here!



Santa Cruz was so fun, but I had to be on my way, the road was calling me. It was very hard to leave my new friends and Simone, though.

The drive to San Francisco was short and easy (I know it very well). I drove straight to Kailey Secrest's house. She is a good friend who I used to work with at Hobie's in San Clemente. She lives in the Nob Hill area of the CITY, close to Union Square, where she works. I parked by her house and walked around town and to her work to say 'hi' and pick up her keys. When she got off work, we did some homework, and then bought some last minute tickets to go see the GIANTS vs. DODGERS game!!! The GAME was so darn fun. I think I am now a Giants Fan. The crowd was so FUCKING AWESOME. 10-2 Giants! Hahaha, they killed it.



What???


Kailey and I had an amazing time together. I love that girl. It was great to see her, but come morning, I was on the road again.


A very eerie Golden Gate Bridge on a very typical San Fran day.

Back on the 101, this time to Laytonville for EARTH DANCE.
I can't even describe how amazing EARTH DANCE was.
Well I can in one word:
LOVE

Everyone was just radiating LOVE. It was amazing. I felt things I have never felt before. I just Love, that is all.



Earth Dance was three days, plus the day after to pack up and leave. At the festival, I ran into Tim and some of his friends from back home, who are now my friends too. Kim Fernandez, John Hunter, and Anthony: three amazing people who I love very much.
After Earth Dance, the five of us all caravanned up to Richardson Grove to camp out in the REDWOODS. It's a beautiful camp site. We met a couple with their young baby, Kevin, Nitara, and baby Kaya. They were so awesome. Kevin played guitar and jammed with Anthony on the hand drum, which was amazing! We all made some very tasty food for dinner and breakfast, and then we parted ways: I headed farther North, and they to go home.



I stopped to get some food and ended up running into some other friends I had made at Earth Dance, and we all decided to drive up the road to the Eel River to swim and hang out at a spot called Hooker Creek. Tim, Kim, John, and Anthony met us there, too. We skipped rocks and sang and massaged and had an amazing time.

I took a couple people up to Arcata with me after the CREEK. One of them, Mark, is a train bum, and rides the train from place to place and just lost a friend to the train, I guess he jumped off wrong and was ran over and killed by the train. That's fucking heavy dude. Mark has a two year old son James. Guess what? James loves trains, go figure.

Once in Arcata, the reality that Earth Dance was over sunk in. I started to feel sad, but also AMAZING. I felt ready to turn around. I wanted to come back to Santa Cruz and come back to San Clemente.
I called a friend from high school who lives up there, Jackie George. She invited me to stay with her for the night. We went to go see this amazing little blue grass band called Po' Girl. It was so fun. But after the show I was pooped, and crashed on the couch.

The next day, I drove up the coast a little ways.
It was the most beautiful/amazing/unbelievable sight I think I have ever seen. Pure NATURE, pure BEAUTY.
I explored the cute, little town of Trinidad and then got back on the road, the 101, to head South to Santa Cruz.


What I think is a harbor, but it was very small, but very cute.

A small fishing house/yard.

It was an amazing day! The first day of FALL. I picked up some pumpkins to bring to RanchOK.
Being back at that house felt so good. That night they were having a going away party for their amazing friend Ashley. I was so glad to meet her, and so sad she was leaving. A couple of the roommates and some other friends and I ran down to the beach for a quick night swim in the GREAT PACIFIC. It was so refreshing. I felt really free.
I had the most amazing time with everyone at that house.



I made everyone COOKIES.

My whole time in Santa Cruz was so perfect, but the time came to head back South and get closer to my house.

I drove down to Santa Barbara to meet my friends Cameron Heard and JR back at Cheyne's house.
I was there for the first weekend since school started at UCSB so everyone and their grandmother was raging really hard. I didn't even try to catch up (I got there at like 9:30 at night).


Ahhh, the aftermath of WIZARD STICKS.


I woke up pretty early to skip the Sunday Santa Barbara/Ventura traffic.



HOME.

But HOME really is where the heart is. I felt HOME on my whole trip. Every thing I saw, everyone I met, everything I felt was perfect and unforgettable.














THANK YOU: Cheyne, Sean, Sam, Juan, Greg, Simone, Kimmie, Josh, Jesse, Will, Corey, Julie, Lindsey, Earth Dance, Jon, Asad, Damien, Alice, Little Bodie, Tim, Kim, John, Anthony, Tanya, Jaime, Siri, Geoff, Kevin, Nitara, Baby Kaya, Nova, Mark, Emma, Carey, Sunflower, Buddy, Jackie, Alex, Po' Girl, Ashley, Tara, Dean, Jersey, JR, Kyle, Mother Earth, Father Sky, Lauren, Cameron, Hilary, Courtney

Hawaii: day three, four, five, and six.

Hawaii: day three.

Today we woke up sort of early to get our swimming gear on and hit the road. We drove 45 minutes south to Kona to go snorkeling at Cook’s Monument. We went to a man named Peter Alu’s house to rent kayaks and snorkel gear. Peter is a retired Police officer who now rents gear out to tourists. He was very kind and let us enjoy some of his home grown apple bananas (called this because of their cute small size I am guessing: they were the perfect size!) We had to rent kayaks, along with our snorkel gear because Cook’s Monument is only accessible by boat. We drove down to the launching dock were Peter’s cousin Rufus (a typical BIG Hawaiian man) was there to help us get the kayaks off the car and send us on our way. It was, about, a half our paddle to the monument. I was very scared at first, but by the time we got there was so excited, to my own surprise, to start snorkeling. The water was so clear and even from the kayak you could see to the bottom of the water and see fish swimming around. We swam around the monument for maybe an hour, following schools of fish, taking underwater pictures, and diving down to get better looks into corals. It was amazing. I am usually terrified of the ocean and being in the water like we were, but it was amazing. I really felt at peace just watching all the fish eating and swimming around. I was even ready to see a shark. But not really!!!
After we were all pruned and waterlogged and ready to get back to the island, we got back into our kayaks and paddled off.
After loading the kayaks back on the car, taking them back to Peter’s, and admiring his amazing handy work (he built his own house) and his amazing view, we headed to the Kona Brewery.
The Kona brewery is where the make Longboard Lager, along with some other amazing Hawaiian beers. We arrived a few minuted too late for the last tour of the day, so we headed to their pub to get some lunch and drink some beers. We tasted six of their beers with our lunch. It was really fun. They make some bomb beers besides the famous Longboard Lager.
We headed back to Waikoloa after our late lunch and beer tasting for an evening swim and some water sliding at our hotel.



Hawaii: day four.

Today Chloe and I had a lazy day around the Waikoloa part of the island. We biked to the big resort hotel to go stand up paddling in the lagoon. It was so cool! The paddling wasn’t anything special but we were paddling in a man made extension of the lagoon, so it’s fed only by the ocean and only has wild fish and SEA TURTLES and rays in it along with all the corals and things you would find outside of the man made part. The nice thing for paddling was NO WAVES, so Chloe and I had no problem keeping our balance and staying on the boards. We could see all the fish and corals below us so clearly. It was awesome. At one point, I was paddling right in between a giant sea turtle and some sort of speckled ray. It was amazing. The sea turtles are so cute, They play all around and in the waterfalls around the lagoon. It was really cool to be that close to them and to really be able to watch them like we did.
We ate lunch right next to the dolphin pool and sat and watched the dolphins playing for our whole meal. Dolphins are really special creatures. It was hypnotizing watching them play around and swimming with each other.
At the big resort hotel, they have a moat with boats that take you all over the resort since it is so damn huge, so Chloe and I took the boat trolly to the far end of the hotel to go play in another pool we hadn’t seen yet. This pool was all decorated with these Alice in Wonderlandish Chinese Zodiac statues. They were really funny looking, like cartoons. It was fun! There were also, of course, WATER SLIDES!
We rode our bikes back to our pool for a little bit, and then went home to shower and get ready for dinner.
We ate at a sushi restaurant in the Queen’s Village at Waikoloa. It was tasty, but nothing special. After dinner, we went back to the big resort hotel to show our mom all the places we went, since she had to sit in time share meetings and take her final for her online class all day. After we toured the hotel we went home and went to bed.



Hawaii: day five.

Today we got up around 9 to head out for some morning tanning before we left on a nice all day drive around the island. We headed out around noon.
Starting headed North, we drove up between the Kohala Mountains and Mona Kea. Leaving the North West part of the island which is very dry and desert like and covered in lava rock, heading to toward the mountains was a change in scenery for sure. The Kohala Mountains are very lush and green, mainly farms there. It was high enough in altitude that the temp dropped about 20 degrees. We got a little rain around the top of the Mountains.
On our way down the East side of the mountains, we had another change of scenery. The North East side of the island is all cliffs against the ocean, and jungle like forests. It was very cloudy on the other side, too.
We drove all down the East side past Hilo, down to Volcano.
The Big Island has five volcanoes, three which are still active. Volcano, is one of the active ones!! We drove up to the top of the volcano, where we could see all the smoke coming out of the top. Volcano is actually erupting, and has been for a while. The lava isn’t flowing out of the top right now, but down, underground to the ocean, where if we could have we would have been able to see it running into the ocean, but where in flows right now is on private property so we couldn’t go see it. How ever we saw a bunch of steam vents, where rain water that has seeped into the ground gets heated by the volcano and steams out through the ground. We also walked through an old lava tube, where lava used to flow through. It was pretty creepy. You hike down through the jungle to this cave opening, and walk through it for a few hundred feet, until it opens back up to the jungle. We could have gone farther, but we didn’t have a flashlight. The jungle had the biggest ferns I have ever seen, they were like fern trees.
After our time on Volcano, we headed back North to head home. But, instead of taking the same road we came on we decided to take a short cut on the South side of Mona Kea. The short cut kind of cuts through the island.
Well, what we didn’t know was that the cloud cover on the mountain was so thick it was almost pitch black, the road was under construction so for the first 20 miles we were driving on gravel, it was raining, there were no other cars on the road, it was foggy, and there are no lights. So it was again, a huge change of scenery and weather. Also, it was a little scary since, really, we had no idea where we were going.
However, when we drove up to the highest point of the road, before we headed back down the other side, we got above the thick cloud cover, and could see the sun setting in the West, where we were headed, and could see a sky full of stars. It was beautiful, and well worth it. We could see Mars and Venus to the West in the Virgo constellation. It was really special.
When we got home, I went straight to bed. A day doing nothing but driving is tiring for some reason.



Hawaii: day six.

Again, we were up early, but today it was to go ZIP LINING for Mom’s birthday!
First we rode the bikes back to the rental place to return them then we were off.
We drove up to the North most point of the island, to a town called Hawi, where King Kamehameha was first brought onto land. We went out with an outfitter called Big Island Eco Adventures. They took us up to the forest to spend the day on eight different zip lines. Our guides we very Hawaiian and very proud of it. They had a ton of knowledge about their town and the island and it’s history to share, it was awesome. We spent the day eating all these different edible plants and fruits in the forest, along with, of course, zip lining. It was so much fun. We were out there for probably four and half hours just having a great time and learning a bunch about the Hawaiian way of life. One of our guides, Brother Vernon, had killed a wild pig and smoked it. He brought my Mom some since it was her birthday. He also brought her some avocados from his tree. Vernon and the other guide Sa’o were saying that if you go hungry where they live, it’s because you are lazy, because food is all around you, you just have to find it.
When we got back to the starting point, we got some food and drinks before heading back to the hotel to pack.

Hawaii: day two.

So, today, in beautiful Hawaii, we woke up early and went for a walk down to the little center to go rent bicycles. After riding our newly rented bikes back to the hotel/condo, we made lunch and got ready for the beach. YAY the BEACH

We went to Hapuna beach, which is just five minutes North of where we are staying. It's suppose to be one of the most beautiful beaches around, and rumor is that Hapuna Beach is on the TOP TEN BEST BEACHES IN THE WORLD list. And I have to say, it is one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever been to. The water is the most amazing color blue, and not to mention as clear as drinking water. It was the perfect temperature, too. It was really windy so the waves were blown out, but it was really fun to just wade in and cool off. The sand was so fine that it felt like a velvet blanket.

After the beach we went and played in our hotel pool! This pool is the coolest pool in the world, haha, but it really is. The pool consists of three water slides, one is a pitch black tube... SO FUN, a water basketball court, and a water volleyball court, tons of waterfalls, misters that make it seem like you are in a horror movie swamp, three jacuzzis, a very shallow pool that you can slide on your stomach like a seal or penguin on, a pool with sand in it, a sand volleyball court and some hammocks on the lawn behind the pool. The best part about this amazing pool is that there is barely anyone there and it isn't even that big! Its awesome.

When I was finally feeling waterlogged, I went back to the room to relax, some more, and watch a movie: 27 Dresses. I love that movie.

PS: pictures are coming.

Hawaii: day one.

So my dream is coming true... my dream of going to Hawai'i, that is.

My mom, my sister, and I arrived in Kona on the BIG ISLAND this morning. It is amazing. I mean just the airport alone, it's all built out of lava rock with beautiful Plumeria and Hibiscus everywhere and the whole airport is outside! It had a very old fashioned feel to it. And the drive to our hotel was beautiful with an almost eerie feel to it. The lone highway cuts between a massive desert of lava rock. The lava still looks as if it is soft and flowing, but it isn't. And in the background of the lava field are two beautiful mountains.

ALOHA!!!

So, we are staying at the Hilton King's Land at Waikoloa Beach. It's not your typical island resort, however we do have access to the Hilton resort down the road. But the King's Land is actually off the beach maybe a mile, on this beautiful golf course. It's not so much a hotel as it is condominiums. We are in, basically, a two bedroom and two bathroom apartment. I like it much better than a hotel room. This way we can make our own breakfast and lunch and even dinner if we don't want to go out, or we can pack lunches and snacks for the day's adventures.
The hotel's design and decor reminds me of a plantation you would find maybe in the South, or in the Caribbean. Everything is very open to the outside. I love how it feels to be inside but outside.

I'm really excited about our week we are going to spend here and I will for sure be posting pictures the next days to come!

Do a 180 and walk forward.

I am ready.

Ready to step out into the World, the World that I do not know so well.

I am a creature of habit. To me that is not a bad thing. I love school and the idea of a grounding after a summer of fun, year after year. I love knowing what I will do tomorrow or the day after. I can prepare. I am a very organized person and habit helps me stay that way.

But I am ready for a CHANGE. I am ready to see the WORLD and MY LIFE with a new pair of eyes.

"How about this, Elise," I tell myself, "how about you just throw some shit in your car and drive. When you wanna stop to look at something or take a picture or eat or nap or enjoy your new surroundings, JUST FUCKING DO IT"

So that's what I am going to do.
I know, I know!!! There obviously has been some planning on my end. I mean, I do have to tie up some loose ends: Work, my family trip to Hawaii, fixing the car up a little.
But for me to just pick up and say BUH BYE is huge. For me to not go back to school is unheard of. And for me to leave all my friends, I don't even want to think about it. I love to be around my friends.
OH, and I am not telling my parents until the day I leave, so there is also this massive secret in the air.

The fear of this whole thing is a big challenge for me.
What if I decide not to go, I didn't sign up for classes?
What if I am too scared to stop the car and try new things?
What if I get hurt or sick?
What will my parents think? Will they be mad, or will they understand?

I need to think in the present on this one. No "what ifs". Plus everything that happens will be worth it.

I am very excited.
I am very nervous.
I am going to have fun.
I am going to feel home sick.
I am going to feel alone.
It will be amazing.
I cannot wait!!!!

I am weary.

It has been one month since my last post.
I have been struggling.
Struggling with my feelings.
Things have been changing in my life and I'm not quite sure how to handle them.
The only constant is that I am here, it is now.
Everyday, I wake up and all I know is that I am.
I do not feel good all the time. I do not feel bad all the time, but I always am.

The fear of every new day is my new challenge.
I wake up and tell myself "Elise, DO NOT fear the unknown!"

My life is now only about me, and how I see the world and the people in it.

My new goals are to find love in everyone and everything, to feel compassion.
Although I am living my darkest days, I have never been so positive in my whole existence.

Life is a struggle. Life is a lesson. And I am ready to try my hardest and to learn all about ME and about life.