It is so amazing to me how emotionally trying my life is right now. I have never looked so deep within MYSELF.
It is strange because solitude usually inspires my creativity, but I don't feel even the tiniest drop of inspiration flowing in my veins these days. For the first time in my whole life I feel very lost.
I don't feel like my life will ever get to where I want it. I have all of these amazing dreams for myself, and yet, for some strange reason, I fear they will only ever stay dreams.
The colors are much brighter these days, but they don't mean anything to me anymore.
The radio seems to always know what mood I'm in, and I am starting to resent it. "Please just play a happy song for me now!" I say to the radio. "Actually, please just make me forget everything I have ever known to be love and happiness, if you can do that, then you can play all the sad songs you choose!"
Oh, but Elise, you will be fine. You are so strong. You are so positive.
Yes, I know, but I am human, and I am struggling with being all of these things you say that I am, right now.
I AM struggling.
This is new to me, and I am unsure how to handle it.
All I know, somehow, means nothing anymore. I have all new things to learn and am so overwhelmed.
I am trying.
THESE TIMES ARE TRYING.
