Hello Existence.

Dear Stranger,

I would like to thank you...

Thank you for coming into my store, and meeting me half way. Thank you for taking my hand and my heart and my head, for just a moment. Thank you for tickling my brain. I hope I tickled your brain, too.

For just the few moments that we were in each others minds, I saw the whole universe being born, and it was beautiful.

So thank you stranger, I know that I will never see you again, and that is okay, because you gave me an amazing gift.

-Elise Streeter

Friendship.

Love is this amazing thing. Sometimes, well, most times, I don't even understand it. I just feel it. It radiates through out my whole body. It tickles me inside and I can't help but laugh out loud.

Love is constantly growing, and it is incredible when, all of the sudden, you just realize how much bigger it is today compared to yesterday, or last year.

Friendship is the ultimate love to me. With friends, most of the time, it is a purely emotional love, there is not that physical love that you would have with a 'lover'. The emotional love is so much harder to have, I think. It takes a lot more effort, but at the same time is so effortless.
I feel this love more and more everyday. I wish I could describe it, but I don't think I can do the feeling justice.
It's amazing to have the same friends for so long, and you always knew you were friends, but all of the sudden one day, you realize, "WOW! I love this person. I want to stay their friend forever." I just want to hug them, and laugh with them. Laugh with them and love them.

With all of my friends, I have known the majority of them for a long time, well long for me, (I haven't lived here long enough to have actual childhood friends) and I am realizing now, 5, 7, even 9 years later, that I am in love with them.

Mind you this isn't some creepy stalker love where I fantasize about them at home or something, it is a platonic love that I feel for all of them.

I don't really know where this is all going, I guess I just wanted to try and explain the amazing feeling I get thinking about or being with my friends. And how truly happy they make me, with all their quirks and pitfalls and qualities and skills, and the love that they unknowingly radiate!

...

I wake up early
I get ready for work
I think about the happenings of last night
and I laugh.


I cannot stop laughing.


This is a good sign.

Grey/Gray

Something has been slowly brewing on the stove, and has gone bad. It does not smell good. Even the weather has noticed it: cold and cloudy and grey. Grey in the sense of the smell, bland, not like a cold winter's day that smells like winter, no, the air smells like sadness. And for once, it is not my own sadness that I smell.

Love is simple. So simple that it is difficult. There are two kinds of love. Emotional/physical love, the one we all usually feel, and then there is the spiritual love. This last love is much different. It is the unconditional love that we have for everything and everyone. It is constantly flowing through us. It is not the love we feel from "being in love" it is the love that JUST IS.

I have learned of this love over the past year. My ego has been put aside and I have looked within. Granted, someone helped me see this love, but they are not the reason for it, nor did they know what they were helping me with.

Loving someone is an amazing feeling, but feeling love even when that person is no longer there is even more amazing.

I know he loves/loved me. And I love him, too. But more than that emotional/physical love I feel for/from him, I AM love.

When you can shut your mind off and completely follow your heart, you will be amazed at what it is telling you.

Why would your spiritual heart tell you something so different than your mind? And why wouldn't you follow your heart over your ego? The heart knows what it needs, what it wants, what it is. Your head is just there to fuck it all up, make you take a different path and then you hurt over your decisions.

Life is this amazing gift we are given, and it should not be wasted THINKING about what you might do with it, but instead just doing it. Head vs. Heart

JUST BE and BE LOVE.

Lauren Valladares Quote of the Day.

This one isn't a quote, but a beautiful picture of Lauren, taken last week during the rain.
She was going to get her lunch and didn't want to get wet!



FYI: the hood is made out of extra trash bag from the bottom.
Lauren is so clever.

Pictures.

They are kinda random, but that's okay!

A sigh of relief.

I feel good.
I can honestly say that I am happy.

I wake up and smile again. No more anxiety at the first breath of day. No more feeling of complete emptiness.
I still miss him, very much actually, but I am very happy without him. I do not wake up thinking "That was a horrible dream... oh wait, that wasn't a dream, that really happened".

Somehow, a page was turned, and I didn't realize it until just now.
I guess it's a good thing that it happened so seamlessly, because I don't know how accepting I would have been had I known it was happening.

But I am happy. And I feel good.